What preschools don't tell you on the tour

There is one question that I wish I had known to ask on the numerous preschool tours we attended:

How many incoming spaces do you have after sibling preferences are granted?

The preschools that we toured in West Los Angeles did not provide this key information to parents during their mandatory tours. Instead, most of the preschools we visited gave a clear impression that current first year preschoolers would move up to the next age group, leaving space for a new crop of students. The mandatory tours seemed to function as persuasive platforms for the merits and educational philosophies of each school. The preschools claim that they provide the tours to educate prospective parents on school philosophies and practices so that parents can make informed decisions if they choose to apply.

Sounds good, but this is only partially true. While the tours are extremely effective at selling the benefits of the school, they fail to provide parents a realistic figure of how many spaces are open to incoming families. Tours run up to 90 minutes long, are held during business hours, and are usually parent-only events. Therefore, in order to attend, tour going parents must take off work hours and/or find child care. Prospective parents respect the schools policies, if is unfortunate that preschools do not reciprocate this respect by being frank and forthcoming about limited student space. My husband and I toured eight preschools and only one school from the group (New School West - kudos to you!) presented a realistic projection of incoming student admission rates.

Based on the information we had been given during the preschool touring process we applied to six preschools. Application fees for each school ran between $50 - $200. The total cost to pay these fees was a stretch for us, but we felt it was important to cover our bases. What we did not realize, was that many schools would later tell us that the majority of spots had been granted to younger siblings.

When March came around the first letter came stating that no space was available for our daughter and that she had been placed on the wait list. The letter stated that incoming spaces had been limited due to sibling preference. In April four more "wait list" letters came. When I called to learn more from the preschool admission officers I was repetitively told that only a small number of spaces had opened up for incoming students of new families. Almost all the spaces had been granted to younger siblings. They stated that especially in West Los Angeles limited student space was an ongoing problem - we were in a baby boom and there weren't enough preschools to accommodate the large number of children. This was clearly old news to them, but new news to me. Why had the preschools omitted such a key component of the admissions process during tours?

Some preschools were very courteous, but a few were very unpleasant and would not allow me to speak to the admissions officers. After paying $100 to apply to a preschool, wait listed families should at the very least be able to speak to a courteous representative in admissions. Instead, the message was that "wait list" was in fact code for rejected. Don't call us, we'll call you.

Younger sibling preference is an excellent policy that contributes to a high standard of quality for families and schools. Parent tours are also a necessary aspect in ensuring mutually beneficial matches between students and schools. However, it is unethical for these preschools to omit how limited their incoming student spaces are while they are actively campaigning for incoming applications and the attached fees.

To inform parents of realistic admission rates would benefit families in many ways. It would allow parents a better chance at finding spaces in quality preschools because we would be informed to apply to more schools. It could also allow parents to make informed financial choices regarding application fees to schools with very limited space. Finally, most of the applications take a long time to fill out due to their extensive personal questions and essays(!). This precious parental free time could be better spent on an application process in which parents knowingly understand their chances. If a school's acceptance rate is only 1 to 2 percent of all applications, parents should be informed of this.

Which brings me to the conclusion that many of these schools use the application process as a fund raising campaign. They conduct tours and accept applications and concurrent fees for months, sometimes years, and when the euphemistic "waiting list" letter comes, these preschools admit that they had known there had only been a few spaces. Not an entire incoming class, which in itself is usually only 14 -28 children, but a slim fraction of that. This duplicity is simply not right and takes advantage of parents with young children, many of whom have limited financial resources. Preschools that profess a commitment to early childhood development should hold the same standard for themselves regarding their communication with prospective families. Simply by being forthright about their admission rates preschools can offer a real service to the local community of families.

What are your thoughts?

One family's experience

Hello Fellow Parents,

I should start this by saying that applying to preschools should be an easier, and happier experience. Parents should have more resources, support, and realistic knowledge in finding a quality preschool for their young children. My family (husband, 2 1/2 year old daughter, and myself) live in West Los Angeles, and finding a preschool was a labyrinth of misleading tours, numerous fees, lengthy applications, and ultimately, waiting lists. Realistic information was hard to come by and many school admissions offices were less-then-helpful after happily cashing our application fees. Over and over again I heard myself and other parents saying, "It should not be so hard."

I think most moms of young children in Los Angeles share the experience of an older mom warning her during pregnancy that, "You better start applying now, or you'll never get in." I'm sure such advice is meant to be helpful, but for me, the Cassandra-like missives of gloom only managed to make the whole process seem mysteriously overwhelming. As a new parent all I could think was -where do I even begin?

Now, two and a half years later, after going through the application process, I can see where those pre-seasoned moms were coming from. It can be frustrating. Hair-pulling, foot-stamping, blood-boiling, grown-up temper tantrum frustration. However, I did pick up some valuable information about West Los Angeles preschools that I wish I had known before we began our search. Rather than griping to my friends about everything that is wrong with the system (which I have done plenty of at this point), I figure it would be best to share the knowledge that I picked up along the way. I'll post the preschools that we toured, their application procedures, some preschools I found which have yet to open, and what I discovered through word of mouth. I am certainly no expert, in fact I feel that I just grazed the tip top of what there is to know. Nonetheless, would this knowledge have helped me when I began the preschools search? Yes, yes, yes.

Seasoned parents, please share what you have learned about applying, and getting in, to preschools. What were tours like? What schools did you like, dislike, and why? When did you apply to which preschools? What were the applications like? Was there misleading information given to you about the application process? What do you know about acceptance rates? Is your child currently in a preschool? What schools have part-time care, who has full-time hours?

Oh and by the way, a preschool spot did finally open up for our daughter here in West Los Angeles. Phew. Thanks to all of the parents, people, and educators whose shared wisdom helped us find our way through the application labyrinth. It shouldn't be so hard, but it actually can be easier.